WHAT IS IMPACT PLAY?
So let’s get this covered quickly and clearly, if you’re not good at picking up on context clues, Impact play is play that is impact related. It can be sexual or not, it can happen in a play session or in the middle of a grocery store.
The pleasure derived from impact play can be purely from the pain for a masochist or it can bring stress relief for the Dom(me), as with most things kink related everyone involved benefits from it some way or another
Impact play is what you make it and not one size fits all for sure. Your former sub may have enjoyed getting caned until bruising was intense, but your next sub may only like a light spanking with your hand or the soft thud of a flogger. If you read my massive novel about the basics of BDSM you know what I’m about to say, you should know what your partner expects and have safe words in play via COMMUNICATION. That word isn’t going anywhere and will probably be featured in every article about kink or non-monogamy. Communication will always be one of the biggest factors in a successful relationship (kinky or not, monogamous or not).
It seems like, when you start learning about impact play, there are ten thousand options on what you can use and how to use them. That’s because there really are a wide array of objects and uses for those objects so I’m just going to cover some of the essential or best beginner items to dip your toe in the Impact Play water.
NO TOYS? NO PROBLEM. JUST USE YOUR HANDS
The best part is, you don’t have to run to a website to get a new paddle or toy. You can start impact play right now. I’m serious, if you’ve communicated wants and desires grab your partner right now and bend them over your knee and give a few solid spankings while you read this. Spanking is the most common impact play used and sometimes people with a vanilla sex life use impact play without thinking about it. That’s right you’re a dirty little slut whether you thought so or not. I’m kidding, that’s degradation and we will enjoy that topic another day. Spanking isn’t the only way to use impact play without a toy, some people like to be slapped. I don’t condone this outside of a play session, because abusive people suck. Don’t be that person. Slapping at the right moment or at least trying it can lead to some shocking results, if you like Californication you’d know that fucking and punching can bring you probably the best orgasm of your life.
Just use caution because people do get triggered by this, a former partner of mine wanted to try this one night out of the blue. She had been in some pretty abusive situations and one almost killed her, so I approached with caution. I began with a light tap on her cheek, she liked it a little and asked me to try it a bit harder. I always like helping my partners find what they like and what their limits may be so I obliged her, striking about 20% harder on her face, she froze up and said she didn’t like that and I could see her starting to lose her clarity and presence in the moment. We stopped and I commenced to taking care of her as I would with normal day to day flashbacks, we never tried that again.
You have a lot of responsibility as a Dom(me), you have to be aware of your sub and what they are experiencing, you have to remember what is on and off the table to try, you have to be in the moment to pay attention for safewords and be prepared to stop when it’s time or to administer top notch aftercare. Hopefully since the last article you’ve learned a bit more on your own about communication and aftercare.
So now you’ve gotten your sub used to spanking, so much that their ass stays red six days a week, time to advance yourself some. You STILL don’t have to run to the adult toy store to get a toy for impact play. You can use pervertables.
Pervertables, if you don’t remember or just didn’t read, are things around the house or that you can buy in a standard retail store that double as a toy for a play session.
You probably have tons around the house right now. Is your sub still on your lap? Get them to run to the kitchen and grab a CLEAN wooden spoon, or even a plastic spoon will work. Now you can try that, use it like you would use a standard paddle. A few light taps to warm the skin and then a solid, but not too hard, smack on the ass.
Don’t have a wooden spoon? Send them for that nice dress belt you have hanging up for special occasions, this qualifies as a special occasion. The thing about belts, is they can be used from beginners to extreme masochists as well. You can use the whole belt folded over like an old school ass whipping would have. The benefits of that is a double impact sensation as well as the volume of impact sounds much louder. If you want to just test the water, use the tip, that’s right just the tip to see how it feels.
The key to learning about spanking with a belt is to keep the area you’re going to use on the belt at a minimum, maybe leave 10-12 inches for spanking use and wrap the rest around your hand. This creates more control of the spank and how much impact it has so you and your partner can escalate from a light tap to a full smack. The masochist way to use the belt is by using the buckle to spank. I don’t recommend this unless you know what you’re doing and have learned in depth the safe areas of the body to hit.
IMPACT SAFETY AREAS
Speaking of I found this map online and I think if you’re going to learn impact play you should know every detail of it:
Before I cover the final topic of actual toys designed for spanking as well as a few pervertables that you may not have laying around the house, I want to touch on Safety. Spanking can be tons of fun, but if you’re careless you can hurt your partner. The complications range from bruising and drawing blood to nerve damage and possibly paralysis.
Those are extreme cases but leather butt does happen. Leather Butt is defined as : A condition that forms from receiving regular, hard spankings (usually from a thick wooden paddle) over a long period of time. Tends to leave the buttocks leathery from built up scar tissue, and desensitized from nerve damage.
Impact play isn’t exactly like being an MMA fighter but it can leave lasting effects if it is a common use and done with too much force. So please use caution and do your part by researching things like the impact play safety map as well as learning some of the key nerves and parts of the body that are open for damage easier.
TOYS AND WHERE TO GET THEM
Now that I’ve covered how to not be a dumbass, let’s talk about the best tools for impact play. Most of you know what paddles are, There are tons of places online that give you options and knowledge about the materials used in a proper paddle. You can even make them yourself if you have the tools.
Paddles essentially have two ways they affect upon impact, they can be stingy or thuddy. I personally think they sting more than thud no matter what size and shape you get. I’ll cover these in more detail on a post dedicated to Paddles.
Which brings me to another popular and far less painful impact toy: Floggers. Floggers are often called whips but they are not whips. They are made for the lighter impact on the skin and more focused on the feeling of the impact rather than the pain. I personally think that floggers are an art to learn to use, there are routines and patterns of swinging the flogger that look beautiful and are effective as well. Floggers are a great place to start if you want to buy a toy to start impact play.
The last thing I want to talk about is canes. These were made by the devil. Canes can range in material, from wood to epoxy and even metals if you’re a psychopath (I’m kidding, I don’t judge, but I’d love to see that). Canes are something that can be a pervertable if you like Lowe’s, they make wooden dowels and you can buy them small enough to leave the right sting and can really bruise up the butt or legs. Caning isn’t something I have tons of experience with so I’m going to suggest that you learn more about that as will I and maybe we can talk about what you’ve learned and maybe some ideas for the future impact toys I’ll be creating soon.
The most important thing about all of this is to make sure you’re playing safely, with respect, honesty, and trust in your partners. I will preach that to everyone I ever meet that wants to play or just wants to be in a relationship with another person. Most kink and non-monogamous relationships have more communication and trust than I’ve ever seen in a standard vanilla monogamous relationship. It’s not always the case on either side but I think that learning the foundations of kink and non-monogamy could benefit everyone that has a relationship and wants to see it succeed.
COMING UP NEXT
The next Kink topic to be covered will be restraints. We will cover the proper material, how to tie a safe knot, ways to avoid disaster, and there will be a shout out to a small business that makes harnesses for better restraint play or if you just want to wear a naughty secret under your clothes while you’re out and about.